March 6 2005
7:52pm

Of Reality


It was back in 2000 when i took my PSLE and awaited anxiously for the coming results. The audible footsteps of my teacher then left me sulking to wonder how deep i had sunk in terms of my results. No miracle was to happen and i was left to face my parents with guilt as i disapponited time and time again with my foolish ways.

It is five years later. Now, year 2005 that i have once again experienced trauma and the same unwillingness to walk up and take that slip of paper that almost seemed to decide my future. I witnessed the people around me, the atmosphere, the tears, the joy , the priceless expressions , the things they resorted to just relieve themselves. Many prayed to the man in charge up there and some did well, some did great, and of course there were some that just did horrible. Some recalled their time sitting in class paying careful attention so as to remind themsleves of their effort, others simply played to keep and hold what was theirs for only a few months. It was on that day, February 28 that i saw, how reality was and what new phases it would bring about, regardless of whether you did great or horrible. It is reality then, there for you to accept even if you were reluctant to .

This was reality. People turned to other things to solve their curiousity, to settle their disbelief. Everyone seemed to be fine but yet at the back of their mind was a burning feeling inside of them, to know what was going to hapen to them next.2000, i looked at my mother for the first time wth a tear down my eye, and i told her i was sorry . this year i went upon to her grave and i told her i was sorry that i couldn let her live long enough to see what it was like for me to come through such a long long obstacle.

The new phases come up towards me one by one, in faster motion at every one time. reality helps to forget and yet helps you to recall. It does not make you feel better nor worst. It does not give you a clear image of whether an object is black or white. Reality is there for you to forget the past and face the future. Deaths are a past but living and building more to live is a reality and a phase.


To those that have faced reality, Cheers.