A NEW PERSPECTIVE, A NEW BEGINNING

S0 all it took was a train ride and a glance at the stars after lying down at the playground slide under my place to think about something i thought i was so sure of. I have my own answer to friendship and to life itself. I used to despise one of my frens way of thinking, that there were no true friends or what we call "abangs" . Bu today i realise, he is right. Your friends are but just an imaginary reliance to the finish line - you only have yourself. Its true that if u do good things and you do be kind to people, you will be recognized but i dun think u might be rewarded in the same way. By the way, forgive my errs in language or spelling today as im having a bloood rush to the head and im getting very impulsive. Today should be the premiere post of " If you didn't love me". But htis is important. This is of no opinion. This is about me, something i realise and something i will not alter for a long long time. So lets embark on this waywayr journey and one sided opinion for the first time in my blog history. This is my perspective, my beginning.

The way i see it, friends are for company, a free side order of fun and laughter. You may find friends that you can cry on but believe me when i say they wont help you for long. If you do have a friend that can help you in every aspect, you must have been a saint in ur past life and stolen some peach thats why ur banished to earth but blessed with the blessing of friends. Today i got off the train with a pack of friends as i had to pass my friend money at somerset. NOw i did not expect all of them to alight and wait, but none had the decency to say bye or to even say sorry. I saw their faces and of some were my closest friends. I then realised on the train what a fool i was. Its not their fault but a conclsuion thats true abt us, man. We are all selfish, no matter what you say. Face it people, we love being recognized but we are unwilling to commit to an extent that we are overshadowed. We are all selfish and we have no pillars. i've come to realise one thing. We are all fakes, counterfeits except for the small majority that might have genuine frenships. I have ten dollars left for this week. I was a rich man's son once and now im reduced to having no wealth. Im an average guy . Im not poor but why i have been reduced to such a state is because i've been too nice and too blind to see who are the people around me. A friend owes me forty dollars and has yet to return any of my calls or messages. Im no asshole or pump bitch and im gettin my money back even if it means being despicable or downgrading myself. You argue that money isn everything. I beg to differ. If ihad money, my mother could have gone for surgery earlier, she wouldn have died. If i hadn loaned money i would be able to buy myself a new racket, if i hadn't loaned money, i'd eat gd food. My mothers fren ran away with 20,000 sing that my mom loaned while she was ill and never fucking came back. You see what money does to people? It makes people go soft. Like my mother, i'd do the same but not anymore. I realise you gotta be as hard as a rock. Ghosts arent even scary now but those you deem as your friends are the ones that are scary.

I had no money so i bet on soccer and i lost , not alot, but i still did lose. Why? in a bid to get back what should be mine. I believe that one can have no limit and so i believe i have no limit. I will stream to the top and while im at the top, i will not give in to emotions because as i was down and out with no money or even when i had my back turned on, i realsied many had already drawed their knives and stabbed me despite our past givings. I yearned to atone for the lies i told to people. But that shall stop, i think i have atoned enough. As i was almost finishing my contemplation, i spoke out to "God" but to no avail. Stupid as it sounds i asked for a hint to let me know that he/she was there that he/she does exist, but there was no reply. All i could hear was myself. Nad i guess that was the answer that i only have myself. I have one aim and one aim only, to be the best and to stay there. Friends used to be an imporatnt aspect of my life but not anymore. I now know money takes place as a barter for frenship and that the only thing that would seem precious would be family. So this is my beginning.

Life is a struggle between man . And as such in a war, you are your own man. I have myself and i thkn thats enuf. Im not saying i do not need friends. Im sure i do but none will i need to rely on because they will falll on you instead. We are burden to each other and that fact will never change. I come to realise that noone will pick you up besides family. So i'll stick to the side orders of my life and not make it my main course.

Ciao