Fall for myself.

The rain fell mercilessly on the ground as I gazed out to the window. It wasn’t heavy, it wasn’t light either. It just seemed, never to stop. It was the kind where you couldn’t really see rain until you heard the pitter and the patter as it hit the ground. The cars that passed by every two seconds made the rain ever more present. The breeze that went through the grills of my window sent their greetings of course. However, it was the day, that sat me down as I gazed out. Mallow skies, colored apartments and hotels that seemed to be all of the same color in one fell swoop; a dull pale yellow, an overcast sky if you like.  

If I looked carefully,  I could see what was on the television in the unit of the apartment opposite mine. 

 And if I zoomed out of that focus, I could see the colors of the clothes hung out by forgetful or probable sleeping neighbors.  When was the last time I would pay attention to these details and take time to appreciate my surroundings. I could not recall. When was the last time I headed out to fool around or get drunk with my blokes, catch a decent movie or make out in the sea of my blankets with God knows who. Every damn day, I’ll tell you that much.

 Am I having one of my epiphanic moments you ask. Why, no. I’m merely learning to fall for myself. 

I would sit myself down and call the people that mattered. Send an email to my father who was somewhere in Europe, enjoying the fruits of his labor. I would take a decent shave and sink my anatomy in a nice warm bubble bath.  Get dressed decently in case a guest might stop by. Audrey Hepburn would sing to me as I fed on glamorized alcohol that people deemed as wine, smiling, to Breakfast at Tiffany’s.  Paying the bills, going for a run and cleaning up the house would be next.  Working on my long due assignments would come at long last,  as I sat down, enjoyably to wine and to delve in the passion of my work.

If I looked carefully,  I could see what was on the television in the unit of the apartment opposite mine. 

The news was on. But yet I wasn’t so sure. The rain got heavier, makings its presence much more seen and heard. I couldn’t afford to confirm my affirmations. I had assignments to do, my grandmother to call and my dad to email. I had Bills to pay and my long awaited bubble bath. Photographs of my surroundings to be taken. My self promised runs and household chores. But all that could wait. For now the rain had invited me to bed, once again. The ever enticing bed made an offer simply too ard to resist. But I promise, I will be ascetic to my tasks later.  Please, please, let me get what I want. 

Sleep. 

Goodnight. 

Later.