Not too long ago, I had a plan. A plan that was flawless and seemingly without pitfall. I took no such things as surprises or life visits to deal my plans any blows or thwarted direction. I guess that is when life got me. In a funny way. My father used to say that when you're sitting pretty, always think of danger. When you're in deep shit, think of deeper shit. Yes i guess you could say my father was a man of caution. Whether or not that benefited him is another story to tell on another day. Yes because this is my story. 

How do I start. I guess most times, we have this feeling about something that's mostly based on what people say. You tend to trust the people that have been there and done that. Though each experience of each individual may differ, you can't help but accept the general overview. That perhaps, it does suck. As much as you perk yourself up with the many movies, the countdown thats brought down to make it seem ever nearer, you probably can't help but, well like i said, accept the general overview. I guess that is the mindset that i went in with that morning at tekong ferry terminal. Most of the time, I guess its innate to feel that bit of freedom lost to the country when you enlist. It's a sucky feeling really, not much to lie about. That's how i started my life in army. Making full use of the suckiness to make my life a little more enjoyable. 

You see i never planned to be in the PES C batch. I despised the thought, despised the term and for a long time, never learnt to respect the people in it. With. Or without excuse. Yet when it was deemed that my problems were a tad too serious for "suay" or sebei suay" to handle and a bright C was written next to my pes status. It dawned on me. KAR-fuckin-MA. My dreams of getting into command school, my thoughts of maybe one day being in the position to tell people that, you can do it, were gone that very morning. But back to the story, let's just say the road along that 7 weeks was a rough, nice, funny yet most enlightening experience that i find almost hard to forget. They say when you're in camp, you'll find it easy to see, who are the most steady ones, or in a more literal sense, the ones you can rely on. For the camp I had been in , it was more of the opposite, i saw with my own eyes how selfish people could get, and the lengths they would go to escape any kind of activity or in this modern age what we call as "geng".

In case most of you didn't already know, you're not supposed to speak of the army. But let me say this. The road will be tough. Pes C or PEs A, you will find the difficulties and trust me on most levels, you will find them to be sometimes, almost the same. You will complain, you will hate. You will be full of angst, and you will be unhappy. But at the end of it all, you'll look back like I am right now as Im typing this out while looking out to the window. And you will say the sweetest phrase.

 

" That was kick-ass."

To the mates from Viper Company, We went as far as we could. Perhaps we're the only ones to know that. But self knowledge is better than no knowledge. 

12/15/2008 03:10:00 AM