01 April 2005
07:10 pm

Happiness: whats your definition?


If there was anything i really had to blog about, it would really be my day here so far. Looking at their easily contented expressions, it really left me alone to wonder what was worth and what wasnt. The school was pretty much delapidated with almost fading paint with cracks on walls. The school was filled with little students, some my age but most of them really little kids. I had planned to go straight to some shopping centres and grab a cab to buy some stuff. the taxi driver said he had to pick up his kids from school and then send me to my destination.

Indeed i felt weird and irritated at first. But when i got to the school , and saw their expressions and their way of life, it left me flabbergasted with really nothing much to say. The only thing that came to my mind was why the fuck i didn have a camera! As i was saying, the school looked kinda torn down but with many many students that seemd almost too many for the school to support. As the driver got off the cab to pick up his kids, i got off the cab and took a few glances at the school. The kids, they weren't rich, nor were they carrying branded watches or apparel. They didn have very stylish hair or fancy shoes. One thing that they did have, was pure innocence and really the most beautiful smiles. Their eyes expressed nothing but being truly elated. As the driver returned to the cab with his three kids, i saw the most beautiful lil girl with the nicest eyes ever. She was petite with big eyes and a very adorable smile . The cab ride was about half an hour and she and i talked alot , along with her brother and sister. I once thought the apparel , the brands, the looks were of utmost vitality and definitely what would make me happy. However through her eyes, their laughter, i realised that the simple life they led , even as young kids could bring them endless laughters.

We often seek to find whats happiness. Is happiness given to you or is it just something you earn for? Is it something you cherish or something you seek to enjoy for a whilst? You might argue that this coincides with my earlier entry about the shades of gray. But i beg to differ. Physically, we are thought to think that looks , that clothes and shoes etc are what makes one happy and "feel" good. Psychologically, that is being inferior. Is the irony of it not obvious? Those kids out in the streets were poor. They didn have the riches in life but neither did they feel any sense of inferiority. Instead, they felt lucky to have the love of their family the togetherness of their friends, the presence of water and a shelter to sleep under. what they believed was to cherish what they had. No questions asked and with no complaints. There is no shade of gray in this case. Call me contradicting but here, is not a matter of what you want and what you dont have. People, its about what you already have.

My trip here was for simple reasons. Before the passing of my mother, she had told my dad to bring me to taiwan to see a few of her friends. To know more about my mother and her actual hometown. I did not only know more about my mother, i knew more about where she was from, how she grew up and the kind of happiness she enjoyed that i never did. I did not know my mother better. Instead, she became part of me.

My life , as a 17yr old kid has been nothing more than just a childhood experience and a mostly spoilt life. but i will now use my life to keep my mothers life running on. Where she came from was not a place of poverty and sorrow, it was a place of easy contention and with no troubles, no tears and no pain.

So people, what is your definition of happiness? I've realised what i want to have is never as important as what i already have. Contemplate people.

Cheers