edited: The Imagined Her
It was that saturday afternoon, our first month together and i was really looking forward to seeing her sparkly eyes and that radiant smile again. As nervous as i usually was, i just blanked out trying to look at her, much less hold her hand. She brought about such a calm atmosphere around me, so much so that all was jus taken away in that one second. We talked about many things without needing to stop, our topics never ending and our common likes, only getting more as we knew each other better. She was dressed in a denim skirt with a neat long sleeved white top that fitted her perfectly. The luscious long hair made everything make sense. Then , all was right in place.
We walked on and stopped by for lunch at one her favourite cafes. A light eater she was, but such a funny person at lunch, the way she ate and how she just uttered every word even as she were munching her food away. I turned back to my usual habits and took out the camera. What images were taken were those of such value, of such natural beauty and of memories that noone could steal. She was about a half a head shorter than me, and spoke so confidently of every topic she had in her heart. we would bicker once in a while and point out who was more better looking than each other just to pick at one another. I'd pick some ugly woman and say that she was better looking whereas she would pick some ugly old stud and say he looked better. We would laugh about it. It was only one month, but our every actions seem to synchronize as one. I felt i knew her all my life.
We finished off and catched an evening movie. Funny how we could sit totally quiet at the theatre as we even held hands when watching the movie. I had so much to say but yet that feeling came upon me. That feeling where you go totally blank at the sight of the most perfect things. I guess some things could be seen when left unsaid. We stepped out of the theatre and started bickering about the endings and how we felt about the movie. I smiled at every point she made, sensisble or not. Because she matched my inabilities. We were perfect and i thus wondered how long i had waited to piece this other half of my heart. I held her hand, tighter than ever and said nothing. At that point of time, i guess we were one. We knew what were on each other's minds.
How was it that i was able to capture such things in life? A 2 hr bus ride could seem like 15 mins . I sent her home that night and on the train, we talked as she begged for me to sing. I embarassed myself and as she fell asleep on my shoulders we both took the ride home that i wished lasted for eternity.
We walked to her place from the station and we played like 14 yr olds. Stupid as it seemed to others, at least we were in unison. Isnt that of most importance? that the other party agrees of your actions and you to hers? She complained she was tired and had such crampy legs. We egged on and on until i finally piggy backed her home for that short 10 mins. I only wished i could carry her for her to depend on me, such that her journey could be carried on by mine and her moving would equal my moving. We reached her doorstep and it all came to a sudden pause. All that instant beauty came to an abrupt stop and as she gave me a peck on the cheek, she chose not to turn away from my sight. She instead backed away with that smile of hers . We said our goodbyes and my heart played back the whole experience as i was eager to see her again.
Relationships are a timing challenge. The shortest amount of time could seem so short because we could never get enough. Many a time we seek a "her" and wished certain things could be in certain ways. I guess many would see me as a flirt and since this blog is ending, for the record i love having the company of girls but thats different from being with someone i love. I believe out there there is a soul mate that we both seek out for. First loves are never the real deal they say at our teenage years, yet it carries the most beautiful memories. I decided to myself that i would have a camera by my side at every one time i and "her" could be together, this way i could recollect. Besides, who would wanna forget? I wished we were similar and wished she would be someone that welcomed perspective as well.
Im not much of a know it all, but i know when that feeling of having a crush is.It'd make you feel like a lil boy all crushed up inside witht hose recurring butterflies. But nothing comes without a price. I guess thats why they say love must be patient. I guess thats why im still being calleda flirt. haha, alil song for that special someone when you knew it was her:
