So here i am , lost in the midst of seeking love and seeking tennis. As ironic as it seems, these two paths that seem totally uncanningly different are actually very similar. Ya know, i dont know about you guys, but i get lonely, very lonely at times. Not in terms of companionship, but support, emotionally. So i seekto find that someone, ya know with the luscious hair and the beautiful eyes etc etc. And yet at the same time, i know im not at my best and as i seek to find myself in tennis, it seems along weary road. As much the same for most of us, we seek to find ourselves. Its been an amazing three to four years since i last got attached. but i stil remember every feel, every touch and every experience, and well , it really seems like love is all around me, but unfortuantely the cupid has yet to strike me. Apparently, life seems to be planned for me to have big big disappointments.

I was earlier brought into the tennis school team but faced with the prospect of playing doubles because iw asn gd enough. Its just one of those days where you think the world is tied to you. Ya know, sometimes, you cant seem to erase the past from ur head? So when that past comes back for another chance, u hesitate.I cut the ropes ending another part of me that i was sure woudl never return.I know you guys are lost so i'll make it clearer.

Have any of you out there made a bidding to seek yourself? Who are you and what do you seek? what do you want in life and how far are you from beign that person you make out to be? i though i was happy with who i was but now, im not even sure who i was and what i want.

Weeks ago, a girl that i found most important in some stage of mylife reappeared. I thought i knew what was to come and i thought i knew what i felt. But you trauma, when you fall off abike once you dont wish to ride it again. She let things down once and i couldn erase that past from my mind so i cut the ropes. Y aknow when you realise what you want is nto there anymore or when you thought what you want wasn what u want, its a very lousy feeling?

i was born into a rich family, fed with a silver spoon until my father failedhis business, he got poor and mymotehr got sick only topass way in 2003. I was strong i thought, but hey even heroes crumble. I challenged, always the prospect of a single life vs an attached one. But yet for the first time in life, im about to defeat my own theory because there are times indeed that im lonely. Im sure its the same for lall of us.

Much has happened. what i thought could be mine disappeared, and what i aimed for seem to fade away like a lost ship steering into no mans land with no direction , no goal or aim. So what to do if you were me? Haha well i dont have a clue. Butheres a question for all of you to think and to think carefully about, and that being, " who are you? and what do u seek?"

Who are you. People, we try our best to make ourselves happy and sure of ourselves. But as you are sitting alone reading this right now, what is it you really want, is it there anymore? And what to do if its not? what then?

Night