Come and take this imaginary picture with me people, " On a rainy day like this"

Kids playin with their caped coats and boots, Couples running together in a single umbrella, Students running away from its pelting force with their shirts out, making use of their canvas bags to shelter them. Such are the views you see on such a rainy day. The smell of rain is often enticing enough to go out in the rain as you take a view of beauty from the cafe sofa you are sunken in with your hot cappucino. I wish time could be replayed so i could keep you here with me everyday. The sound of rain pelting on your window as you gaze out on such a beatiful thursday evening.

Kids jumping on puddles of water with their ever innocent smiles that describe pure delight. As clear and distinct as rain you see the coloured umbrellas as they are laid by the sides of the cafe with its droplets simmering down on the plastic covers.

You pace out as the rain drizzles lightly on the wet ground. The refreshing feeling gets one to reminiscent the times as kid or the times where you shared an umbrella with a loved one. The weather gets colder as you put on your cardigan coat and move towards the train station. The mood sets in as you look out at the mellow sky, and the people in the train as they either doze off in complete exhaustion or stare into space , thinking of what seemed to be eternity. The umbrellas drip as my shiny leather shoes are filled with visible droplets of water. Still, the mood sets in as my eyes prepare to close.

On a rainy day like this, Its always the eyes that get sharp, the mood that sets in and the heart that remembers. On a rainy day like this, it gets you laid back like ur constantly on a couch. And on a rainy day like this, you just cant help but wish that she'd be by ur side. But most importantly, on a rainy day like this, Home is where the heart is.

Paper models ; System defects

L1R4 of 18 and a r5 of i dun remember, maybe 24 ? 23? i really do not remember. A rallying student aiming for the most unrealistic spots of education. But by far, the most deserved. I sat down wondering whether it was me that din swallow enough notes into my mouth to remember facts, practice more on sciences and math or me just being plain lazy.MAybe it was all of the above, but then again it struck me. What a basketcase our society had driven us students to be, paper models. Yes, models made out of paper not talent nor drive or passion. Sure, out of the many elites that get the good grades, they do what they do best and contribute to the present rotten and future lowered society. Is it not true that certain ways of the world are not determined by merit , but by talent? It is true that from time to time, merit performance is the prior representation of academic ability, but how is that concerned to the very fact that all are the same? Does the world not speak in term of wittyness, flair or creativity?

Now that itself is a system defect.We talk about equality in man and building a creative hub for more manpower to enter the workforce with critical thikning skills, idea and flair. BUt we also talk about academic merit. The idea of creativity is not in the fields of sciences or math or even english for the matter. It is flair, and that is something that cannot be cultivated through textbooks or highlighted guidelines from photocopied notes.

We need to create a significance between merit and talent. We explain that merit is an all rounder. That one that is weak in science can become an A student out of pure effort, but can that beat a budding scientist to be if he gets an A1 for science but doesn do better elsewhere? We claim that its a life skill because most of us only want to do what we're good at and exams of merit ensure that we work hard for everything just so that we can do what we want in future.

Paper models we are at this instant, The society has created for themselves existing inferiorities so to speak present in some or if i may say most of us. That, already is, a system defect.

Enjoy.

In the eyes of those innocent years.

I had got myself out and injured finally after ignoring advice from those who cared, of which i neglected cause i thought it would never happen. Finally, the unexpected came and put me out of contention for the next one week at least. That just added to my misery of pain that fell like rain and never ending problems that cannoned down on me like atomic bombs. But then as i gazed out of my courtyard and looked at the other side of the court or rather the other side of life where the pasture seemed greener, i saw my nephew along with several other kids. As i allowed him to enter my confidence, i saw what he saw.

In the eyes of a child, they saw no hate, they saw no obession, they saw no greed and they never saw materialism. Yet in their eyes were of such pure innocence and the tears rolling down only when they seemed to had lost their favourtie toy or when their parents left them to go for work or when play had to stop because of rain. Their point of sadness was brought about through genuine loss with no loss nor gain in their world. Their world of innocence.

I remember watching a kid playing alone with a leaf that kept spinning around him during those windy seasons back home in Hong Kong. He was alone and he was content. They had no worries, no bills to worry about, clothes to think of to choose or girls to be bogged down by. Their world was , it was in fact nothing. They were for themselves with everything in the world provided for em.

In the eyes of me.

It was 1am that following night when i thought through the mudafuckin trials in life. What was so upbeat about the times where poverty was rife or the time where money was in abundance There was no difference, what one had could never be enough. everything progresses with age, responsibilities, activities, friends, etc. Our view of of what we value comes to progress to its very own extremes at a certain age as well. What happened to playing soccer till late and not worrying about anything but to go home dirty and chided by parents? What ever happened to going home with good results not expecting a reward but a moment of acknowledgement form our parents? Those are wants that progressed into greed and eventually unnnecessity.

In the eyes of the infants , they had a world of their own , a world they created subconsciously along with other infants, other kids that allowed us adults to enter the realm of their world but never to be part of their world. We were past that already, everybody has it once.

In the eyes of us, we valued war over lives at stake when it came to possesion of rights. We spoke of freedom of speech but we were yet killed or banned from what we wanted to say. We valued our faces more than truth. We hid what was in the stash and took out what looked good in the trophy cabinet. In the eyes of us, we seemed to absorb the fact that our way to surviev was to pry open the harsh reality of intent of us humans.

And it was there, in the eyes of those innocent years, that i painted a picture that seemed ever so beautiful yet so very far.

People describe me as an emotional person that i tend to let my emotions run wild all the time and that i get so emo and sad over the slightest things. People say im sensitive and people also say that im a weird one at times. But in spite of all that, my closest friend said i was dreaming. It is not wise to live on dreams because chances are, we get disappointed. You know that feeling when ur very tired and you just sit on the train and stare into blank space? Its like life suddenly paused and for that few minutes your existence did not matter or that you din need to do anything at all.How about the time when you want to do nothing but go home and not even think about anything and just stare into space once again?

That happens when i get very tired and very helpless. Thats when we feel a situation is beyond resolution or either because we feel too vexed to think the whole thing through or that we cant decide whther or not to let go of a certain something or someone. How does that come into play?

Remember my post of yearning? Remember my post about the cars flashing by or the pony tail i'd spot? Remember the post on "you were mine to keep" ? Those were emotions all on the line. All of us , in life put many things on the line without us even knowing the outcome. We fall in love with someone who does not like you and you hence move on, knowing theres no chemistry. We fall in love with someone who does like you and you end up together. and yet sometimes, you just do not know at all.

How do you tell the difference between what you like to see, what you want and whats meant for you, or rather suitable for you?

In the world we live in, we play a game called life. And in this game, we , as different people fall prey to different things. However, as cruel as i may deem it to be, there is that one thing we all lose to. No matter who you are, how powerful , or how intelligent, you lose to that one thing that seems forever invincible. That is time.

Many things happen for a certain reason or certain cause that leads to finally a conclusion and all that is bound by time. I lost to time a lot of times, we;va faced off severaql times and unknownigly or knowingly, i have lost to "it" on all counts. How do you handle the loss of a loved one owing to death ? How do you handle falling in love with a special someone who is attached? how do you handle getting into something you never wanted to because you had too little time to decide? Well actually people, you dont handle it. You just laugh off it, get frustrated and move on. Trust me, i am no novice in this area. Time involves everything, it involves life, its chances or even a game of tennis or any other sport.

Yet time does not solve the realism of the world for you. It only makes things less great. Thats life, chances are, you dont know what you want and when the strain of time gets by u end up choosing what isn't meant to be, at all. As in tennis, You rush time, or you get so excited to bring forth the game, you try to beat time you rush things and you lose your first serve. As much as life is forgiving because you get a second chance, your second serve is normally a lousier one. Time has no mercy, theres no consolation prize for losing time by a lil . So come on people, between you and i, start counting, how many times have you lost to time?

Then as we even have time, we still lose, even though we're ahead. As i cleared the gantry from the train station last night i felt coins in my pocket, i headed straight to 7/11, thinknig i'd probably want to buy a drink or maybe a bag of chips. As stared down at the freezers and freezers of drinks and the racks of chips, i put the coins back nito my pocket and i left the seven eleven, then, realizing that i actually din want anything or something that i thought i wanted was actually never there. Such is life, we want the wrong things or what we thoought we wanted wasn't what we wanted or either it was never there to begin with. I know it sounds silly, but think about it people, what is it that you know you definitely want besides the necessities of life? And if so u know, how are you gonna go about getting it?

time itself is a powerful source, sometimes i feel even more than that of religion, because so much things happen because we lost to time. That exlpains the "if only(s)", " Why did i" , " i wish i was" , " i regret", etc. This tricky stance of life, is it something we are bound to bow down to? i confess that im tired with everything around me and the time i must get by inorder for it to finally happen or for me to move on. but inthe mean time, im stuck in the moment and i cant get out, i cant step in or out because we dont know what time will give us tomorrow so the only thing i can do is to look at today, at now and see what may happen. Still that is not an answer, it is a guess and chances are we're wrong because time plays the game so much quickly and better than us. That explains the unpredictable shit part of life.

Personally, i haven won time before. In fact, im losing to it now, and it seems like im going to lose at the end. But stil, our stubborn minds or our silly hearts push us to keep trying , not to gain respect, or to see disappointment, but to accept the fact that we're always going to lose .

The clock has been ticking for me the last 17 yrs and u realise 17 is not young. time is but just a number, its what follows through that hurts. i wanna know everything. dont you?

Enjoy