In the eyes of those innocent years.

I had got myself out and injured finally after ignoring advice from those who cared, of which i neglected cause i thought it would never happen. Finally, the unexpected came and put me out of contention for the next one week at least. That just added to my misery of pain that fell like rain and never ending problems that cannoned down on me like atomic bombs. But then as i gazed out of my courtyard and looked at the other side of the court or rather the other side of life where the pasture seemed greener, i saw my nephew along with several other kids. As i allowed him to enter my confidence, i saw what he saw.

In the eyes of a child, they saw no hate, they saw no obession, they saw no greed and they never saw materialism. Yet in their eyes were of such pure innocence and the tears rolling down only when they seemed to had lost their favourtie toy or when their parents left them to go for work or when play had to stop because of rain. Their point of sadness was brought about through genuine loss with no loss nor gain in their world. Their world of innocence.

I remember watching a kid playing alone with a leaf that kept spinning around him during those windy seasons back home in Hong Kong. He was alone and he was content. They had no worries, no bills to worry about, clothes to think of to choose or girls to be bogged down by. Their world was , it was in fact nothing. They were for themselves with everything in the world provided for em.

In the eyes of me.

It was 1am that following night when i thought through the mudafuckin trials in life. What was so upbeat about the times where poverty was rife or the time where money was in abundance There was no difference, what one had could never be enough. everything progresses with age, responsibilities, activities, friends, etc. Our view of of what we value comes to progress to its very own extremes at a certain age as well. What happened to playing soccer till late and not worrying about anything but to go home dirty and chided by parents? What ever happened to going home with good results not expecting a reward but a moment of acknowledgement form our parents? Those are wants that progressed into greed and eventually unnnecessity.

In the eyes of the infants , they had a world of their own , a world they created subconsciously along with other infants, other kids that allowed us adults to enter the realm of their world but never to be part of their world. We were past that already, everybody has it once.

In the eyes of us, we valued war over lives at stake when it came to possesion of rights. We spoke of freedom of speech but we were yet killed or banned from what we wanted to say. We valued our faces more than truth. We hid what was in the stash and took out what looked good in the trophy cabinet. In the eyes of us, we seemed to absorb the fact that our way to surviev was to pry open the harsh reality of intent of us humans.

And it was there, in the eyes of those innocent years, that i painted a picture that seemed ever so beautiful yet so very far.