People, its been a trying period for myself and i think i've finally convinced myself that there must be a closure to it all. I keep my mother close to my heart and my defeat as nothing but a passing reminder to only make me stronger. Before i" embark" on a new entry, i'd like to thank every one who still continues to read and tag. Its been more of my pleasure than yours.

Till death do us part

What strong words that we hold for the people that we love. I as a kid never understood the basis of love and yet questioned myself if i knew what i was saying when i said those three words to my parents every night before i slept. I had yet to know what those words meant. A little too late but its after shes gone that i realise what this overwhelming feelin is about. But better than never i guess.

They both(parents) became part of me. My dad , Alex Choy was an outstanding graduate in business from London. A man with a big heart but also a big ego. He loved his family although he wasn very good at articulating that. Anyhow, my dad ventured into business that he was never familiar with. I think at the age of 6 or 7, i was living a life of luxury from some export business he was doing based on oranges. Yes, the ones we eat. We made a fortune and i remember significantly how very rich we were. My father was a man who knew lots and lots of things through libraries of books and an admirable inquisitivity for anything in the world. For a man that knew nothing about fruits and earn big bucks, he immediately became my man to look up to. His only flaw, was a bad bad temper. Nooone is perfect but i remember the times where we;d get scolded for almost nothing and yet almost everything if you know what i mean. A loving father he was, but an angry man with a huge load of pressure would also be apt. I think it was 4 or 5 years later that my father went bankrupt after specualting in shares. Well thats the past. My dad is now a boss of a candy business where he acts as sole distributor in malaysia and has also expanded his business in both singapore and hong kong. As far as i remember, i never had lunch with my father and mother together. You see, they were divorced shortly after i came to disrupt this place that we call earth. Arh, My mother.

Shirley Thong, a woman loved by many. They said my mom was a genius, creative, funny and yet such an attractive woman in so many many ways. Well, it took me right to the end to find out how she was like. After she passed on, i heard stories from her friends of how beautiful a person she was. You see, my mother's furthest education was Pre-u. She left to work in a hotel as a mintime manager or something like that. I remember her telling me she was once a journalist in her time for a chinese newspaper. BUt that was before her years in the hotel line. She excelled in her work and in no time she became a general manager for what they call troublesuites, that is what they call hotel doctors. She'd be transferred to anyhotel under CDL that had problems in revenue. Anyhow, my mother also totally disregarded the fact that there were so many religions. She told me that there was no need to fight because the world is unison. She felt universally religious so to speak, as if there was one fair God. She knew about Christ, Allah, Buddhism and also the mostly talked about Sathya Sai BaBa. She, too loved her family but only managed to articulate that through spending on us because of her hectic work schedule. My mother was diagnosed with cancer some years back but never gave up, she refused to back down and doctors told me she hung on longer than any doctor would have expected by a few years. A few days before she left, i asked, " are u going Home" she smiled and pointed at my heart. Home is where ur heart makes it and somehow my mother is in my heart for always.

Why am i broadcasting my parents here some of you may wonder. Well because they have become a part of me and ithink i must have a closure to all that i have been feeling through out these 3 days spent aloneher in KL. People, trust me when i say family is the only real thing you have around you. I don no tdoubt the power of friendships but i believe in the definite power of family. As far as i remember, i never reallyhad a complete one for five minutes but that din matter cause they were around me somehow.

Love is something so different. It exists so differently when you have it and when you dont. Sure it can be about your spouse, your dog or your favourite movie. But when ur in it, u dont seem to cherish it as much when you do have it. This is my closure. I apologise for my emotional stints over the past few days. It has taken me a while to get over the fact shes gone. That night, i though it was her and hell for five secs, maybe it was!

I never forgot that smile or my fathers words. I dont forget them and i dun think thats ever possible. Till death do us part...

Enjoy.